Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Over this past week, I have kept an open ear out for microaggressions. Unfortunately, I heard more than I had guessed I would and often times had to stop and think “did that person really just say that?!” The microaggressions I heard covered a wide range of things: race, gender, sexuality, and religion. The one that I would like to share here happened this week at the center I work at.

My colleagues and I had walked the children over to the playground and as soon as we got there they began to run excitedly over to the play structure. The janitor happened to be standing nearby and remarked to the (Hispanic) mother who had just walked up “hey is your kid legal?” the mother replied “sorry?” and he said “you know, is she a citizen…this is how they run down at the border. I would bet that half of these guys are illegals and yours looks like she’s had a lot of recent practice…maybe that’s how she came to school today!” The janitor laughed at his “joke” and walked away; the mother stood there, seemingly unsure of what to say.

This scenario is an example of a microassualt and microinsult. The janitor not only questioned the child’s citizenship based on her ethnicity but racially stereotyped her family. Although he was “joking” and thought that his comment was funny, the mother of the child appeared to be hurt and unsure of what to say; fortunately, the child appeared to not have heard the comment.

Living so close to the international border between the US and Mexico (less than 10 miles north), a lot of the microaggressions I heard had a lot to do with ethnicity and citizenship. One thing that I noticed was that microassaults occurred even between people of the same ethnicity (mainly over issues of citizenship and immigration status); I even heard people of the same ethnicity using derogatory racial/immigration slurs to each other. In the above scenario, the janitor and the mother were both Hispanic but he held power over her as he was able to question her family’s citizenship and immigration status.

When I heard this microaggression, I was uncomfortable and did not really know how to react. On the one hand, it could seem easy to pretend as if I had never heard it; but not only would that make me uncomfortable, that is just perpetuating the cycle and I want the mother and child to feel welcome at the center and know that we do not share the same beliefs and stereotypes that the janitor insinuated. On the other hand, knowing the janitor, I feel that if he was confronted he would dismiss his comment as a joke, and even possibly feel that it was ok to say it because they are of the same ethnicity, therefore engaging in a microinvalidation. My solution was to approach the mother and apologize for his insensitive comment and later approach my director to remark on what had happened.  

After listening carefully to what people are saying, the main thing that came to my mind was that sometimes microaggressions can be so subtle or brief that we may not even acknowledge them until it’s too late. I observed that in most cases the speaker was using a friendly, even joking, tone and continued on without even missing a beat. I am wondering how many microaggressions I may have missed; learning about microaggressions and their effects has taught me to think about how my questions and comments to others come across and to think about what the consequences may be. 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

From asking one simple question “What is your definition of culture and diversity?” I received some really interesting answers from the people I asked. I chose people who differ from me in some aspects: age, ethnicity, religion, marital status, and class. Here are the answers that I received:

Elizabeth: “I think that culture is the traditions and customs of the people you are surrounded by do. For most people, that would mean the traditions and customs of their family but if you don’t grow up around your family then it would just be the people you are around. Diversity to me is the cultural differences between people, so it would be differences in traditions and customs.”

Bree: “Culture is the attitudes, customs, traditions, and beliefs that are widely held throughout a society or nation. Some things could be types of food, ways of dress, and common ideas. Diversity in regard to humanity would be when people from different cultures are grouped together in a single society. Instead of all members of a community or nation having the same culture, different cultures would live alongside one another.”

Allison: “I would say that culture is created by the shared experience of a group. The group could be connected to identity with a certain ethnicity, nationality, religion, social group, etc. Cultures usually center around certain traditions and values that all members of the group consider important. These may include symbols of unity through dress or common linguistic phrases. I would say that diversity is positive differences between people. These may come in the form of race, language, culture, ethnicity, nationality, religion, social class, gender, sexuality, background experience, and opinions.”

The people I asked included aspects of surface culture such as food, clothing, and customs and related their answers to family and society, leaving out some aspects of deep culture such as housing arrangements, intergenerational interactions, extended family relationships, roles, migration, and work . However, I was pleasantly surprised at the answers I received and I the people that I asked this question actually followed their responses with their thoughts on why diversity is important. Reflecting upon how others views diversity gave me some new insights into my understanding of culture and diversity as well, mainly that there are many ways to look at a single thing-everyone has his/her own unique perspectives based on their individual culture and experiences. Hearing different but similar answers for one question was a good illustration of diversity in itself; we are diverse in the ways that we think and the perspectives that we have, I liked how one of my respondents even included differences in opinion in her definition of diversity!

My Family Culture

Although imagining that a major catastrophe has devastated the infrastructure of my home country and my family and I must leave to a foreign country is almost unimaginable to me, this may be a reality for many families and children worldwide, including those who are seeking political asylum or are refugees. Imagining that I would have to live somewhere else for an unknown amount of time, possibly permanently, would raise many fears and uncertainties in me.

My son, Jack, sleeping
with my baby blanket (July 2011)

Imagining that on top of this I can only take three possessions with me is difficult.  After much thought I decided that I would take my mother’s recipe box, a family photo album, and my baby blanket. My mother’s recipe box contains recipes from her and both of my grandmothers; it is something that would allow me to preserve a part of my culture and family. Bringing a photo album of my family would help me keep my memories and show my son and future generations their relatives and images from my home country. My baby blanket holds sentimental value to me as my grandmother made it for me when I was born and it is something that I have kept over the years as a comfort and can now pass on to my son.

If after all this, I was told that I could only keep one item, I would be faced with a difficult decision. I do not know what I would choose because these three items all have different significance and meanings to me. The first item, the recipe box, is a way to maintain my culture and what I am familiar with; the second item, a family photo album, is a way to preserve memories and family; and the third item, my baby blanket, is a sentimental comfort item with ties to my family. Thinking about my possessions and what I would chose to bring made me realize that some of the most important things are not necessarily valuable or useful  objects but rather things that are sentimental and I feel connected to; many of my possessions could be replaced but these three could not. Leaving one or more behind would not only be sad but would feel like having to choose which part of me was the least important.

After imagining this scenario, I realize how fortunate I am to be in my home country with my family possessions and culture around me. I can’t imagine the choices that families have to make when moving to a new country along with the other difficulties they face (learning a new language and culture, finding their way around, etc.) all while trying to hold onto their culture/family culture  and succeed in the new country at the same time. One thing that came to mind was that even if I brought these things and tried to hold on to my culture, it may not be passed on if my son chose to assimilate and lose the language and values I have taught him. This made me realize how important it is for us to help respect and preserve the cultures that we see in our classrooms; teaching children to value their own background and family can help create a safe and welcoming space that embraces all the children and families we work with as well as helping preserve and honor their cultural ties and backgrounds.