Observing Communication

This week, I took some time to observe communication between an adult and a child. I was looking for examples of effective communication and strategies that seem to foster effective communication. I was surprised at what I observed in my first attempt-I saw some very ineffective communication! This was really eye-opening to me and so I included it here along with the effective communication I did observe in my second attempt.

Observation 1:

I observed an adult communicating with a young child at the park. The child was a young boy who was around 2-3 years old and the adult was his aunt.

I noticed that when the aunt talked to her nephew she was short with him and kept sighing. He would say “Auntie!” and she would say “what?!” in an annoyed tone of voice. When she did not like what he was doing, she would threaten or demean him:

-Boy was throwing sand; aunt said “Stop throwing sand! If you do that again, we won’t go get a treat later!”

 -Boy did not want to go down the slide, said “Auntie, help me,” aunt said “Why are you scared? Don’t be such a baby!”

-Boy was walking slowly, aunt said “Come on, go faster. Why are you walking so slow? We don’t have all day!”

I was shocked at what I was hearing, there was definitely a lot that could have been improved on and changed to make the communication between the aunt and her nephew more effective and affirming. Communicating with a child is different than communicating with adult; their speech and body language differs, we have to stop and truly listen to what they are saying (and what they are not saying) to effectively communicate with them. For example, when the boy asked for help going down the slide, the aunt immediately assumed he was scared and responded negatively, calling him a baby. To more effectively communicate with him, she could have asked what he wanted her to do-offering to hold his hand on the way down or catch him at the bottom and she could have reassured him rather than demeaning him.

I think that the way the aunt communicated with her nephew would have negatively influenced his sense of self-worth. She did not take the time to listen to him, explore with him, or understand him and his ideas; he may have felt that he was doing something wrong and probably did not understand why she was talking to him in this way. Communicating appropriately with young children is important; it can help them feel validated and empowered-this young boy was probably not feeling either of those things!

Observation 2:

I observed a teacher and a child communicating in a 3-year old classroom.

I noticed that the teacher seemed very responsive to the child and was focused on the conversation that they were having and the child responded positively:

-Teacher knelt down to student so she was at his level and could make eye-contact

-Teacher addressed student by name, spoke quietly to him, and paused so he could respond. The teacher did not try to fill in the silence or give him words, she waited. At first the pauses were longer but then the child seemed to feel more comfortable and answered quicker.

-The teacher did not outright correct the child, she would repeat what he said correctly and push for further conversation: boy said “Mommy bringed me today” teacher said “your mommy brought you to school today? That’s pretty special! Did you do anything else special with your mommy this morning?”

This observation had a lot of examples of positive examples in the interaction between the teacher and child. The communication between the two was positive and seemed to be affirming for the child; the teacher truly seemed interested in what the child was saying and the child really seemed to respond to her communication strategies. I liked how the teacher waited for the child to respond, she did not rush him or take control of the conversation. This would be very validating to the child and help him build confidence with his speech and ideas.

I think that the way the teacher communicated with the child would encourage his sense of self-worth. I think that the child would feel that his ideas were important and worth listening to, the teacher was positive and encouraging which probably helped him feel validated and empowered.

Overhearing this communication between the aunt and toddler was saddening, but it also reminded me of the importance of what we are learning: we can share what we know! Sometimes I take for granted that I have a background in working with young children and am used to communicating with them; I have received compliments from strangers on my patience and how well I talk with my son. Not everyone knows or understands the importance of communicating in an appropriate and positive way with young children…but we can share the information we know with them . I have learned a lot from the articles we read this week and I know that there is room for improvement in my communication with young children. One area that I would like especially improve in is my “teacher talk;” I need to remember when I am speaking to my class the context that the child is in and the message that my words and body language are conveying.   Listening to the conversation in my second observation between the teacher and child gave me some great ideas on how to communicate effectively and reminded me of the importance of taking the time to listen to a child without interrupting or “giving” them words.

Creating Affirming Environments

“What children do not see in the classrooms teaches children as much as what they do see” –Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 43

I would absolutely love to open my own family childcare home so this assignment was a fun way for me to dream! If I were to open my own family child care home, I would work to make it as inviting, welcoming, and positive as possible. This week, I got some really great ideas from reading the section “Anti-Bias Education in a Family Child Care Home” by Derman-Sparks & Edwards (2010) and watching the online video presentation, “Welcome to an Anti-Bias Learning Community” with the tour of Adriana Castillo’s family child care home. With these ideas in mind, my family child care home would look something like this:

Welcome Area:

This area is one of the most important areas because it is the first place children and families come to in the morning and the first place that people see when coming to my family child care home. I would have a table for the sign-in/out binder, important papers for families to take home and read, folders for each child’s things (such as artwork, personal notes, etc.), and a binder for the children to “sign” in and out of. Adriana Castillo has a binder for her children to use with their picture and name; I think that this is a great way for children to feel important and practice their writing skills (Laureate Education, Inc., 2012). I would also have a message board with important information posted such as the daily schedule, emergency information, important news, community resources, etc. I would try to have it translated into the different languages that the families in the program speak. I also loved Adriana Castillo’s idea of posting pictures of the daycare “community” to help children and families feel welcome and included (Laureate Education, Inc., 2012) so I would put this in this area as well.

Circle-Time or Community-Time Area:

This area would be the place where children and families meet when the day is starting; it would be an open area with a rug for children (and parents) to sit around so we could greet each other, have lessons, conversations, share things from home, and sing songs. I would have books related to our current curriculum in this area, diverse pictures and posters (including some bilingual or in the home languages spoken) on the walls, and a special place for children to display their sharing. Adriana Castillo mentioned that she has a “family culture share” that changes monthly; each month a family brings in something to share about themselves (pictures, clothing, mementos, etc.) and it is displayed for the children to see (Laureate Education, Inc., 2012). I think that this is a great idea and I would do something similar and create a special place to display children’s family culture in this area as well.

Play Areas:

The play areas in my family child care home would be easy for children to access and would include a wide and diverse range of materials that reflect the children and families in the program as well as the community. There would be different types of building materials (different sizes and types of blocks-plastic, wooden, cloth, etc.- cardboard boxes) and authentic dolls (different types-plastic, cloth-male and female, different sizes, skin tones, and hair types, wide variety of clothing, some with physical challenges).

I would have a wide range of dramatic play things as well to create a kitchen/store area, a dress-up area, and a library/reading area. In the kitchen/store area, families can donate “cooking tools and empty food containers” and boxes and the area would be stocked with “plastic foods from various cultures” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 52), used cookbooks and a cookbook made by the class with pictures of the foods eaten at home.  The dress-up area would include different types of clothing, hopefully some donated by families, for both boys and girls and mirrors. I love books and think that children should have easy access to them and the ability to incorporate them into their play so I would have an area for books that could be used as a library or reading area. Books are also “crucial anti-bias tools [that] introduce children to the love of reading as well as to human differences” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 52) so I would make sure that the books would be representative of the children and their families in my daycare and would include some bilingual and home language books as well. I would have a range of types of books (board books, cloth books, simple picture books, short-story books, paperback books, etc.) as well as books made with pictures or stories of the children and families in the center.

I would also make sure that the puzzles and games reflected different identities (family composition, genders, abilities, ethnicities, etc.) in non-stereotypical ways. It would be great to have some homemade puzzles with pictures of the children and families in the program as Derman-Sparks & Edwards (2010) suggest. Other toys in the play area (such as vehicles, puppets, and animals) would also be diverse, different sizes and made out of different materials so that they cover a wide range of motor skill abilities and reflect what children may see in the community and beyond. Lastly, I would put pictures of the children in my family child care home playing, as Adriana Castillo suggests, so that the children can see themselves and others playing and using the materials (Laureate Education, Inc., 2012).

Art Area:

In the art area, I would have different art supplies that could be used across different motor skill abilities (some big, thick markers and crayons, some smaller and thinner, different sized glue sticks and paintbrushes, neutral-hand safety-scissors, etc.), The materials (such as paper, paints, crayons, markers) would include many different colors, and would also come in a “range of skin tones” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 52). I would have different work spaces (some low tables, some higher tables, easels, floor space, etc.) and keep the materials in containers that are easy to access.

Quiet Area:

This area would be a place where children could nap, rest, or have some “cool-down” time if needed. In this area, I would provide baskets of books that are anti-biased and reflect the children and families as well as the community and world. Children could also have a space to store any comfort items brought from home (blankets, dolls, stuffed animals, etc.).  In this area, I would ideally have pillows, a couch, a small bed, a crib, and mats for the younger children to sleep on depending on their sleeping preferences.

Eating Area:

The area where children eat their snacks and lunches would be clean and easily accessible with low tables and chairs. I would provide a variety of utensils for the children (forks, chopsticks, spoons, soup spoons, etc.) and make sure that any food that my family childcare center provided was diverse and reflected the foods that the children may eat at home.

Ideally, I would want my center to reflect the lives of the children and families who utilize it so I would want to be open with them and encourage them to provide feedback and suggestions. I also love the idea of incorporating family traditions into celebrations and encouraging families to interact through organized events (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 54). Ultimately, “children must feel safe, loved, and nurtured to develop the basic trust they need for healthy development” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 52) so I would work hard to ensure that my family child care home was a positive and affirming environment that does that for all children and families.  

References:

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). Thinking Deeply About Diversity and Inequity (2012) [Online Video Presentation] Strategies for Working with Diverse Children. Baltimore, MD: Author.