Diversity and Communication

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” –Anthony Robbins

Culture and diversity are complex issues that go beyond what we see on the surface. Our culture influences our daily interactions, beliefs, and perceptions of the world-which in turn, influences our communication, including communication styles and nonverbal cues. Throughout our day we encounter many people: our family, neighbors, colleagues, children and their families, store clerks, etc. Although we may share some similarities with some of these people, there is also a lot of diversity, whether it be in ethnicity, religion, politics, sexual orientation, abilities, age, etc.

Thinking about my interactions with the different people I encounter throughout the day made me realize that I do communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures and do not even realize that I am acting differently.

When I am at work, I speak more formally and do not share as much personal information with my colleagues as I do with my friends and family. When I am with my friends I use more slang and we have many shared experiences that we refer to. When I speak to the parents of my students I try to choose my words carefully and smile a lot. When I speak with families who do not speak a lot of English I tend to use more hand gestures to explain things more clearly (although when I think about it now, most of my hand gestures probably do not make much sense!).  Throughout the day I communicate in many different ways without even consciously thinking about them.

I think that I could become a more effective communicator with my colleagues, friends, and families that I work with if I:

1. Use more people-oriented listening skills and try to be a more empathetic listener. I think that this will help me better understand other people and will show them that I care about what they are saying.

2. Watch and listen carefully to those I am communicating with so that I can pick up on any nonverbal cues and the speakers’ communication styles. This can help me accommodate to other speaking styles and help prevent communication failures.

3. Remember that my personal reality and perceptions are not the only ones out there. Even though I may share similarities with some people I interact with, we also have our differences as well. Taking our diversity into account and respecting everyone’s beliefs, opinions, perspectives, and realities will help me be a more respectful communicator and can open my eyes (and ears!) to new opportunities and learning experiences.

Communication In Action

Nonverbal cues are an important part of communication, but they can very easily be misinterpreted. I found this out when I watched a show I had never seen before, “Up All Night,” first without sound and then with sound. I was able to figure out some things with nonverbal cues while watching without sound but others were a bit harder. Here is a bit about my experience:

Without Sound:

-I assumed that two of the main characters were in a romantic relationship because of these nonverbal cues: wedding rings, closeness in proximity (sitting next to each other), touching (hugging, kisses), and sharing a bed.

-I assumed that when the female main character went into work she was meeting with her boss because the other employees appeared to be intimidated by her (quick nods, small smiles, backing away). After the main character sat down, talked on the phone and then spoke with another employee using cues such as raising her eyebrows and putting her hands on her hips I began to think that maybe she was the boss.

-The feelings that I saw expressed through nonverbal cues were: anxiety (shaking of the legs, frowning, using flustered-looking hand gestures), anger (waving hands, frowning, throwing arms up), happiness (smiling, hugging, laughing).

With Sound:

-The show started with the couple waiting for a pregnancy test result and they had appeared to be nervous and anxious; although I assumed that they were married I had thought that they were a newlywed couple. However, when watching with the sound on, I learned that they were celebrating their 7^th wedding anniversary and had been together for a long time.

-When the office scene appeared, I learned that my first assumption about who was boss was correct but that the two female characters were also friends and acted with almost equal authority in the workplace. 

-I had assumed that the female character and male character had their routine established; however, the episode I watched was the female’s first day back at work and the male’s first day as a stay-at-home dad so their routine was actually a new one and they were dealing with the recent changes to their routine.

I think that my assumptions would have been more correct if this was a show that I typically watched because the interactions between the characters would have been easier to interpret; when watching the show with the sound on I was surprised at how far from the plot I was. While I had some of the relationships right, I was wrong about a lot of the contexts and situations. One of my biggest “aha” moments was realizing that I had missed a lot of things because I assumed that the nonverbal behavior would be a substitute for verbal communication but this was a comedy and a lot of the nonverbal cues were sarcastic and had more of a comedic effect when seen with sound. If I watched this show regularly, or even again, I think I would be able to interpret the nonverbal cues a little bit better.

This exercise really opened my eyes to how much importance context and communication are. Just having a glimpse of something with no background knowledge led me to make some assumptions based off of my own perceptions and I learned that nonverbal cues really are ambiguous and can be hard to accurately interpret! 

A Great Communicator

When thinking of someone who is a competent communicator, Maya Angelou was the first person who popped into my head. There are many contexts in which someone can be a competent communicator; Maya Angelou is effective both as a writer and as a speaker.

Maya Angelou not only has powerful writing/poetry, but she is a wonderful speaker. I had the honor of attending an event at which she spoke at and was amazed at her eloquence, confidence, and the beauty of her words.  I think that Maya Angelou is an effective communicator because she understands and uses the power of words, choosing them carefully to send her messages. At the same time, she speaks clearly and confidently; listening to her is amazing.

I am a shy and quiet person, I often fumble trying to find the right word and dread speaking in front of a lot of people… I would love to have the confidence and grace that Maya Angelou does when communicating with others!